Are You Here or Available?
Have you ever finished a conversation and realized you heard the words but missed what the person was trying to tell you?
Maybe you were reading an email while they spoke, preparing your response, or thinking about the meeting starting in six minutes (now five minutes and 45 seconds!).
You were there, but your attention (i.e. Presence) was somewhere else.
As Q4 gets busier, that’s worth paying attention to.
Last week, we kicked off this E.P.I.C. series dedicated to Performing Better Under Pressure with Excellence and the importance of agreeing on what our best looks like together. This week, we’re exploring Presence:
How do we stay engaged, listen fully, and recognize when a teammate needs our attention or support?
Helping teams communicate, make decisions, and execute together better under pressure is the focus of my work, and presence is part of that.
Give the Conversation Your Attention
Imagine a teammate saying, “I’m not sure we can meet Friday’s deadline.”
You’re already thinking about the customer commitment, so you respond, “We really need to make it happen.” (raise your hand if you’ve said it!! I am!)
But you haven’t heard what’s behind the concern. Maybe a supplier hasn’t responded, a decision is overdue, or two people are working from different instructions.
Before reinforcing the deadline, try asking:
“Walk me through what’s putting Friday at risk.”
Then let them finish before you begin solving.
Your Next Move :: In your next conversation, notice how quickly you start preparing an answer. When that happens, bring your attention back and check your understanding: “What I’m hearing is _. Have I got that right?”
Notice a change without assuming the cause
Think of a spotter’s role in racing: offering another view of what’s happening around the driver. It’s a useful way to think about supporting a teammate when their attention is absorbed by the task ahead.
You might notice that someone who usually contributes has gone quiet, or that a dependable colleague has missed a handoff.
That’s a reason to check in, not enough information to decide what’s wrong.
Try: “You seemed quieter than usual in today’s meeting. Is there anything you’d like to talk through?”
They may need support, or they may simply have been listening. Give them room to tell you rather than filling in the story yourself.
Be honest about your availability
Presence doesn’t require being available every minute. Sometimes you genuinely cannot give someone the attention their concern deserves.
“I have three minutes before my next call, but I want to hear this properly. Is it urgent, or can we talk at two?” is more honest than half-listening while your hand hovers over the mute button.
The important part is following through.
For a quick reality check, ask yourself: If my teammates rated how fully I listen when things get busy, would their score match mine?
Put it to work this week
At your next team check-in, give everyone a chance to answer:
- What’s taking most of your attention right now?
- Where could you use another person’s input or support?
- What do we need to make time to discuss?
Don’t turn every answer into an assignment. Agree on where help is needed, who will provide it, and when you’ll reconnect.
The point is to make room for a conversation you might otherwise miss while everyone is busy getting through the agenda.
Next week, we’ll explore Intentionality and how to respond and engage with purpose rather than letting urgency choose our words and actions.
When the pressure rises, what helps you give a teammate your full attention?